El Dia de los Muertos

The Day of the Dead vs. Halloween

El Día de los Muertos, of Day of the Dead, is not a Mexican version of the U.S. Halloween.  They both have parades, costumes, celebrations., music, dancing, and lots of food.  But the background is quite different.  In many Latin countries,skull 1 The Day of the Dead is believed to be a time when the line between the real world and the spirit world disappears.  For two days, the souls of the dead awaken and visit the living world. The living welcome them as honored guests, invite them to the celebrations, and leave the deceased’s favorite food and other offerings at the grave-site.  It is a time to honor the dead relatives, bring them back and include them in the celebrations. It is a happy time, remembering those who have passed away, but maybe will rejoin the living if only for a day.  Offerings are an important part of El Dia de los Muertos. Families will often have an altar at home honoring deceased relatives. And this is a time to clean and decorate graves.

El Día de los Muertos originated perhaps 3,000 years ago in Columbian Mesoamerica. The Aztecs held a cyclical view of the universe and saw death as an integral, ever-present part of life.  In medieval Spain, people would bring wine and “pan de animas” (spirit bread) to the graves of loved ones on All Souls Day.

Our Halloween probably originated with the Celts, perhaps 2,000 years ago.  Their New Year began on November 1. So, October 31 was the end of the year and the boundary between old and new – perhaps between the dead and  the living. Bonfires were built to burn crops and animals as a sacrifice to the gods in hopes of a better new year.  The Catholic Church adopted this into their celebrations with two Catholic holidays: All Saints Day, Nov. 1 and All Souls Day, Nov. 2.

But today, it has lost much of the old traditions. We no longer take time to remember past relatives or include them in our celebration. it is a time to decorate one’s house with signs of the dead and ghosts, to visit neighborhood homes and businesses to collect candy, and for older Americans to dress in costumes and go to a party.

And the industry officials say that one quarter of all candy sold annually in the U.S. is purchased for Halloween.

The BB gun

I’m sure all of you have seen “The Christmas Story”, with Darren MacGavin.  You’ve seen it.  I lived it.

I was raised in Texas, so of course I had cap pistols.  But no caps.  Well, I had no caps, officially.  Mother could see me playing cowboys and Indians and having a cap gun, but certainly no caps.  Caps exploded and things that explode can damage a young boy.  But occasionally, someone would give me a roll of caps and I could shoot the bad guys and give it the proper bang! so the guy would know he was dead.  But such battles were not fought at 1823 Maryland.  No siree.  Around the corner on Marsalis, at the home court of Jimmy McVey.  His mother had no problem with exploding things.  And in spite of that, Jimmy lived to be an adult with both eyes.

A BB gun was an entirely different matter.  Those were not allowed around, with or without BBs.

You guessed it.  A BB gun would shoot your eye out.  Without question.  Guaranteed.  Now, this only came from my Mother.  My Father, raised in southwest Texas, on the frontier, so to speak, and spending lots of time on the ranch of his cousins, understood the value of guns.  We never had one in the house.  But they had them on the ranches my Father roamed.  And, he had both his eyes.  He did wear glasses, but I am convinced that was not a result from an errant BB.

But Mother was definitely a city girl.  Wise in the ways of urban living.  And she understood BB guns.  They would put your eye out as certainly as milk came out of a bottle.

So my formative years were formed without the benefit of a BB gun.  Imagine my excitement when several of my grade school buddies divided into two warring teams, ready to do battle with honest-to-goodness BB guns – AND, they provided me with a trusty Roy Rogers rifle, capable of holding fifty BBs, and shooting an opponent fifty yards away.  Well, fifty feet anyway.

Needless to say, I could hear my Mother’s constant warning about the dangers of such weapons.  But we were at John Hope’s house, far from my Mother.

The game was afoot.

John Hope lived across the street from an immense protestant church that rambled over most of a block, with buildings here and there, bushes, trees, walls, crannies and nooks, hiding places galore.  This would be a long and glorious fight and surely my team would win.  Before long, I spied one of the enemy, moving stealthily to my right.  I lined up a perfect shot and prepared to shoot him in the heart.

Suddenly, before I managed to squeeze off my first round,  I am in great pain. I had been shot!  Directly and squarely between the eyes!

I crouched down, reverently laid down the Roy Rogers rifle and felt just above my nose, just between my eyes.  There was a small, neat dent, and it burned like fire.  And my ears rang loud with my Mother’s voice.  “You’ll get an eye shot out.”

My God.  She was right.  As if a sign from God, the first incident of my first BB gun fight had been a shot between my eyes.  A half inch right or left and I would have lost an eye.  She knew.  My Mother knew, the way mothers everywhere know.  She knew with that perfect vision mothers have that I was not meant to play with BB guns. Now, I knew.

Carefully, I picked up the trusty Roy Rogers rifle, turned and walked across the street to John Hope’s house.  I laid the shiny, superb piece of craftsmanship down on John’s porch and started walking the nine blocks back to my house.  I rubbed the small dent between my eyes, willing it to smooth out so mother would not notice.  It didn’t.  It stayed there for years, a constant reminder of the wisdom of mothers and the foolishness of young boys.  My Mother never commented on it, though I am certain she noticed, certain she knew how that dent came about.

Never again did I ask for a BB gun for Christmas or birthday.  Mother was right.  Maybe if I had been raised on a ranch, or on the frontier of 1910 southwest Texas.  But I was a city boy, who had a great desire to keep both his eyes.

Be Careful …

Be careful …

Quite a few years ago, my wife, Earlene, and I journeyed to Oklahoma to repair a rental property.  It was an old house, sitting on eighty acres out in the country, with no close neighbors.

As we sized up the house, it became clear it needed much more work than we had planned. We needed to rearrange rooms, add walls and doors, paint the house and fences and more.

We loaded all the tools we possessed, headed to Oklahoma, and booked a motel room not far from our project. Each day we went to the house, worked on it, and returned to the motel, leaving all our tools at the house. It was, after all, in a remote area and few people drove by and fewer even noticed the house.

One day as we worked installing a new door, a man walked into the room where we were working. Unannounced. He just appeared, no knocking. In fact, he had been standing in the doorway from the hall before I even knew he was in the house.

I pulled myself together and asked if I could help him.  I really had in mind, help him out the door and off our property.

“I see you’re making some improvements on this house. Are you staying here, or just working on it during the day?” And he appeared to be inventorying our tools.

To say alarms were going off in my head is like saying there’s sand in the Sahara.

“We’re here most of the time,” Earlene answered.

He looked at her, nodded, then looked back at me. “Do you lock the place up when you leave at night?”

I scanned the room, noting the tools. We didn’t have much in the way of power tools. But what tools we owned were in this room. Packing them up each night and unpacking them each morning would be a sizable chore. “Absolutely. We lock it up whenever we leave.”

“We certainly lock it up tightly,” Earlene said.

He nodded, turned, and left.

We listened as he walked through the house and out the front door.

“Should we be worried?” Earlene asked.

I just shrugged. “I don’t know what to say. We don’t have expensive tools, but they’re all we own.”

“You think we need to spend the night here?”

“We could. But for how long? We’re weeks from finishing.”

Work slowed. Every few minutes one of us would ask a question or make a comment about the man and his visit. Who was he? What did he want? Why did he ask about our locking the place at night? And ever so often the question was, should we pack up our tools tonight?

About twenty minutes later, I heard a car door close, and several minutes later, the same man walked into the room again. I started to ask him to leave, but he spoke first.

“I noticed you don’t have many good tools for the work you’re doing.” He stuck out a device and said, “This will make getting the hardware on the doors more accurately and much easier.  And you really need a nail gun. You’re much more likely to split that molding trying to put it in with a hammer.” He stepped back through the door, then returned with a nail gun and a compressor. “And I’ve got a couple of other things that will make your job go faster. I’ll bring those by tomorrow.”

I didn’t know what to say. Earlene said thank you.

“My name is Gary and my business is house repair and I know how much good tools can help. But they’re expensive. So I wanted to make sure you would keep them locked up when you weren’t here.”

During the next few weeks, Gary supplied many helpful tools and even more helpful advice. We became good friends. Eventually we convinced him to manage our rental property. Over the years, he repaired many problems with our rental and rarely charged us for his work.  “After all,” he would say, “friends help.”

So, the moral of this story is – be careful … about your first impressions.

jim

Right Brain, Left Brain

In the summer of 2020, I had a major medical problem.  This is not a complaint.  Everything came out okay – eventually.  I was in the hospital for a month.  This included three surgeries, ten days in ICU, and four days when I was “unresponsive.”

After the month in the hospital, I spent the better part of the next month in bed.

But after those two months, I was at least beginning to think about a “more normal” life. My brain was functioning.

Sort of.

Prior to entering the hospital, I had A Plot for Murder almost finished and was looking forward to a fall release.  With the book nearly finished, that was still a possibility. But a strange situation occurred.

We had planned to remodel the kitchen, and I began to draw up plans.  Of course these went through several iterations as we refined what we wanted, and what would fit into the overall space available. Part of this had to deal with retrieving some “lost space” where the builder had left small areas empty behind walls.  We got the blueprints and decided to utilize some of those little bits. When combined with the space currently in use, this allows us greater freedom in our design.

All of this went along easily.

But, when I sat at the computer to work on finishing the novel, nothing happened. I could put down words, sentences. But I was having trouble concluding the book.  My imagination was gone.  And the words I put down, now at a critical part of the book, were flat. There was no feeling in them, no imagination, no rhythm in the sentences.

This situation continued for over a month.  Good work on drawing plans for the kitchen. Uninspiring words for the novel.

And then one day, I wrote a paragraph I liked. Over the next week, the way to handle the ending began to come into view. Paragraphs began to fit together. The ending worked well.

Sometime later, I realized what was happening. My left brain had come back to life first. My right brain lagged behind. Strange. My hospitalization had nothing to do with the brain. No head injury.

But it certainly appeared as if the left brain woke up and started to work faster than the right brain.

Perhaps there is a message for me here.

jim

From the first sentence, it captures your attention and carries you on an intriguing mystery-solving adventure.” Avid reader Sharon S.

I’ve read so many mysteries/suspense stories that all sound alike. A Plot for Murder is very distinctively and enjoyably different.” R. Bruner.

Rod Granet, award-winning novelist and womanizer, is the main speaker at a writers conference. But after the opening session and in front of a crowd, Maggie DeLuca, Father Frank’s sister, accuses Granet of stealing her story and says he will pay.

That night, Granet is killed.

The sheriff quickly zeros in on Maggie and she is hauled off in handcuffs. When Father Frank comes to her aid, the sheriff threatens him with jail if he interferes.

A Texas Ranger is assigned to the investigation. He sees Father Frank as a valuable asset. Even as the sheriff continues to harass Father Frank and interrogate Maggie, the Ranger pushes Father Frank to get more involved, telling him the sheriff considers Maggie his only  suspect. Father Frank is faced not only with his sister being the prime suspect in a murder case, but also threatening letters, a rifle shot through his car as he drives across a bridge, and the sheriff’s promise to put him in jail if he investigates the murder.

Can Father Frank stay out of jail and alive, and find the real

 

If you’d like to order a copy of A Plot for Murder: Murder at the Writers Conference, use this link which will offer you a choice of formats and retailers.    https:books2read.com/u/mYAW2P

 

The Vanishing Horse

Many years ago, I wrote a blog about a special Christmas gift I got for the kids.  I’ve been asked to repeat it this year. Since this is a difficult year, and a very difficult Christmas season, I am repeating the story.  I hope this brings a smile to your face. Most of all this year, we need to remember the good things of the past and not let the problems of today blind us to the good things we have experienced.

My second Christmas in Connecticut promised to be special. I had bought the house on Great Hill Road just a hundred feet from a quiet lake with maple, birch and spruce trees growing almost to the water line. The kids had ten free days to enjoy The Dolphin, a small row boat which they had helped refinish and paint, and which they could easily manage. If it turned cold enough and the lake froze, the ice skates would come out. And, though they didn’t know it, they were going to have a spectacular gift.

Earlier in the month, after considerable research, I traveled into central Connecticut to look at horses. The selection process proved to be horse-angrycomplicated. A horse named Trouble pawed the ground, snorted, and would have bitten me had I not been considerably quicker than I am now. A second horse, Lightning, slept through the interview, barely managing to put two feet ahead of the other two. He failed to make the cut. The next candidate, Cara, passed with flying colors—until price entered the picture. Grace, a lovely sorrel, had two—no, make that four—left feet.

Eventually, I found a beautiful, if not young, roan with a gentle, if occasionally obstinate, disposition named Cheyenne. After a brief ride, I purchased Cheyenne.

Marvin Whittle, who was employed at the research lab where I worked, owned a stable right in town, not far from our house on Great Hill. We came to an agreement and I made arrangements to have Cheyenne transported from central Connecticut to the Whittle Farm.

Never in my life had I bought a saddle, but now I shopped and evaluated. What did I know about such things? There were western saddles and eastern saddles, but no southern saddles. Curious. I discovered that Western meant big and comfortable while eastern meant small and uncomfortable. Just like the states. I opted for a Texas style, not so big that the girls could not handle it, and with the proper leather smell.

Then came a bridle, blankets, and a source for hay.  Wouldn’t a dog have been simpler?

A week before Christmas, I had the present—Cheyenne and all the necessary items to outfit him, house him, and even feed him for the first month. Early on Christmas eve, I moved Cheyenne from the Whittle Farm to a neighbor’s near-by home. Things moved along as smooth as a well used halter.

christmas-tree-3The children were nestled all snug in their beds, with visions of sugar plums dancing in their heads. I slipped out, sneaked down a quarter mile to the neighbor’s house, and on tip-toes, lead Cheyenne to our place, and tied him securely to a bush outside the front of the house.

The land bordering on this part of Great Hill sloped down to the beautiful lake. Most houses, and ours was no exception, faced the lake. The main floor of the house, while at ground level on the side nearest the road, projected out eight feet above the ground on the lake side. Positioning Cheyenne in front of the house kept him well below the sight lines from bedrooms and the living room where the tree twinkled and presents waited impatiently to be unwrapped.

As was tradition, the kids arose before the sun, leaping from deep sleep to hyper-active as quick as a sneeze, clamoring to see what Santa had deposited in our living room. (They never expected to find only a lump of coal. In fairness, I guess they never deserved such.)

Christmas and presents, even if meager, generate excitement, screams of joy, and only occasionally envy. This Christmas was little different, if somewhat subdued. In truth, Santa had not been as generous as had been his habit in years past. Even those holidays when I was in graduate school looked somewhat fatter than this year. So, while it is not fair to say they were disappointed, well—it didn’t take long to open Santa’s leavings.

After a slight delay, wanting them to enjoy the non-horse items, I invited them to follow me outside. This produced a few groans, and actually made the Christmas offerings look a lot better and difficult to leave. But since I knew how excited they would be over the horse, I persisted. We exited the back and with a sly grin on my face I led them around to the front of the house.

Triumphantly, we turned the corner to find—nothing. No Christmas horse. No Cheyenne. No saddle. No blanket. No bridle.

To say I was stunned is to say the Sahara is a sand pile. Horse thieves in Connecticut? The kids, not knowing what to expect, just looked at me … expectantly. What was the big surprise? I knew what my surprise was. No Cheyenne.

Pulling myself together, not wanting to look too lost in front of the kids, I surveyed the area. Not only was the horse missing, the large bush he had been tied to was gone as well. Why would rustlers take my bush?

I mumbled some nonsense and sent the kids back inside to play with their meager cache. Slowly, I became a cunning tracker. Before long, I was picking out signs, some of which I will not describe, with the skill of an Indian brave trainee. After only a quarter mile, I heard the sound I had expected earlier: excited children. Rounding a clump of cedars, there was Cheyenne—as well as two young kids thrilled with the newfound present Santa had left for them.

I eased up, saying some soothing, cheerful things to the young boy and girl as I endeavored to take the reins. They clutched the leather tighter, accusing me of trying to steal their Christmas present. I bent low, hoping not to look like a towering monster, and spoke softly with an angelic smile on my face. Logic had always been a strong point for me, so I explained to them, in child-like terms, what had happened.

I remained the evil Grinch.

With some subterfuge, I got one end of the reins, and shielded it from the now screaming girl. But my gain amounted to little, as the boy instantly clamped his tiny hands around the stirrup. The boy’s cries now echoed hers and people on the other side of the lake came out on porches to see what malfeasance had come to Rainbow Lake.angry-woman2

Trouble was closer at hand. An angry mother burst out of the nearby house, ready to kill the miscreant trying to kidnap, or otherwise harm, her children. She was followed by a big, burly man, surely seven feet tall, who’s eyes did not exhibit the Christmas spirit.

paul-bunyonThe woman ran to her children, shielding them from scoundrel me, questioning them as to what I had done. The man, his Paul Bunyan legs requiring few steps to traverse the distance, grilled me. I quickly recognized he was a seven foot interrogator for the CIA.

At long last, logic arrived on the scene, tardy as usual in such situations. The children finally managed to sob that I was taking their horse. Santa had left their present outside, since it was too big to go down the chimney. They had found it, and now, Scrooge was trying to steal it.

With the aid of the one rein still attached to the bush, I described how Cheyenne uprooted his hitching post and wandered down to their yard.

The mother’s translation did not cheer the children. But they were somewhat mollified when I promised to bring Cheyenne down and let them ride him later in the day.

horse-1a           Needless to say, when I once more enticed my children outside to meet Cheyenne, Christmas became a lot brighter. He was an instant star, and continued to be their favorite even when, a year later, a younger, more beautiful buckskin named Major joined Cheyenne in the family circus.

James R. Callan

Free Ice Water

To those of you who have been with me for seven years, I apologize. But the other day, a friend ask me to reprise this blog.  So here it is.  It still has merit today.

On a recent road trip, we passed through Wall, South Dakota, and visited Wall Drugs.  That’s almost all there is in the small town.  But, it is something to see.  It now fills a square block, and claims to be the largest drug store in the country.  I have no doubt it is. It has many, many rooms for various items that might tempt a tourist to part with some dollars, play areas for kids, some excellent art, and a restaurant that can handle 500 people at a time.  Oh yes, there is a pharmacy, but it is almost lost among the opportunities to buy just about anything.

You have no trouble finding Wall Drugs. For a hundred miles east and west you will see signs along the highway for Wall Drug Store.  Many of them simply say, “Free Ice Water.  Wall Drug Store.”

Today, with our air-conditioned cars and fast food places every ten minutes, free ice water doesn’t seem to be much of a draw.  But back in 1931, things were different.

In 1931, the owners of Wall Drugs, a young pharmacist and his wife, were about to give up that hot summer.  They had agreed they would give it five years and if they couldn’t make it in that period, they’d pull up stakes and move to a big city. Their five years were almost up.

One hot day, the pharmacist’s wife came in and said she had an idea that might get some of the people driving down the highway to stop and come into the store. What did people really want on a hot summer day driving in a hot car through a dusty area?  Ice water. She suggested putting up signs on the highway that said, “Free Ice Water.”

The pharmacist and a high school boy drove out and put up the signs. Before they got back, cars were stopping and people were asking for free ice water.  Some of them decided to get ice cream. And some bought other things. Business began to grow. By the next summer, they had to hire eight girls to handle the sales.

In 2012, a good day will see 20,000 people come through the Wall Drug Store. The highway signs advertise many items sold at Wall Drugs. But many of the signs still read, “Free Ice Water.  Wall Drug Store.”  And “5 Ȼ Coffee,  Wall Drug Store.”  Yes, when you get there, you can get free ice water and you can still get a cup of coffee for 5 Ȼ.  But the customers spend much more than a nickel.  The same family still owns the store, although it has passed on to the children and grandchildren of the original couple who found a way to bring business into their store.

How did they do it?  They found what people really wanted and provided it.  But, it was the simple signs that brought the people in.  As writers, we need to decide what it is that people really want in a book. We must then provide it.  But the big step is to advertise it. Let people know that what they want is available.  The difference is that today, we will put our signs on the Internet highway.  People cruise down it every day, twenty-four hours a day.  We must get our signs out there.  Simple, to the point signs, that offer the public what they want.  Maybe we give something away.  It might be a first chapter.  It might be a drawing for a free book.  (You can’t afford to give a book to everybody.)  Maybe it only needs to be a very short blurb that entices the passerby to stop for a moment, read a bit more, maybe decide to buy.

The key is to provide what the public wants, and tell them about it so they can pass the word around.

One last thing. You’ll notice I didn’t say “readers.”  We might as well aim for a larger group.  Write a book that will bring more people into the reading community.  Expand our fan base. Find today’s “Free Ice Water” and put out those signs on the highway.

And today, I’d appreciate a comment as much as a glass of ice water.  Thanks.

 

On Amazon in digital, paper, or audio formats:    https://amzn.to/2UDjXxw

 

I didn’t die, but . . .

I know it’s been awhile since I last wrote.  But, I didn’t die.  Some of the trees did! We took a trip out west and when we got back to Texas, well … we couldn’t get home – at least not quickly.

That was just the start.  Apparently there had been an incredible amount of rain.  And then strong, erratic winds.  Many live trees were toppled, simply uprooted. These ranged from 100-foot tall pines to old oak trees.

When I cut through one of the oak trees and counted the rings, it was about 60 years old.

I still don’t know exactly how many huge trees came down – more than I have managed to clean up so far.  But, I’ve taken on the role of lumberjack. And not being Paul Bunyon, it’s taking me awhile. Good exercise.  Next week, I’m back on the computer, at least for a few hours.  I feel another book wanting to hit the pages.

Thanks for putting up with my rambling. I’ll stop – and go crank up the chainsaw.

jim

 

The Glamorous Life of a Writer

Today, writer and international speaker Jennifer Slattery talks about the glamorous life of a writer.  It’s a fun read and maybe we can see ourselves in the title role.  Jennifer has published six contemporary novels, maintains a devotional blog, and works on several fronts to help women realize their true worth.  But now, here is that glamorous life.

Whoever writes authors into movies have never met any in real life. At least, they’ve never met this writer.

Considering all my mishaps, I should probably write romcom.

A few summers ago, threw away my favorite black pair, fully intending to replace them. Once I finished that story, then that article, then that next blog post …

Mid-August rolled around, and I began packing for what I knew would be a whirlwind trip–a conference where I’d be speaking and teaching three classes, followed by a book signing, with a day and a half home before heading to an author event followed by another conference.

So there I was, planning what to wear and … no black flats, and no time to hit the mall. Luckily (ha!) our daughter, who was still living with us at the time, owned a really cute pair of pumps, so I tossed them in my suitcase, closed it up, and was good to go.

Eh …

Saturday rolled around, the last day of the conference and the day of my book signing. By this point, I was also down to one outfit–the one needing those black pumps. So, on they went.

And I quickly remembered how long it’d been since I’d worn heels. And that my daughter’s feet are wider than mine. So here I am, trying to look all professional while wobbling around, about ready to topple over, in my daughter’s much too high heels. To make things worse, every third step one of my shoes actually slipped off, nearly sending me flat on my face.

All while I was trying to act all bookishly professional–and everyone I encounter, including the bookstore owner hosting me, is doing there best not to laugh out loud.

Grown woman, acting like a teenager in her first pair of heels. Oy.

I wish I could say wardrobe malfunctions during book signings are rare events, but …

I was on another trip, this time in Des Moines. Once again, it was a whirlwind weekend with back-to-back speaking engagements followed by a signing. By my last event, I was down to my last outfit–the one I was wearing. The others were not so neatly packed in my suitcase in the trunk. Add to this the fact that it was freezing out–not sure capris and strappy sandals were a great idea.

With goosebumps exploding across my arms and my lips turning a deep shade of blue despite my heavily applied lipgloss, I decided to buy some coffee.

Did I mention I was wearing white capris? You know where this is going, don’t you? I experienced a momentary rush of warmth, followed by a rush of panic.

A writer’s life. Isn’t it glamorous?

Do you have any wardrobe fails to share? It would make me feel better. Seriously. 😉

Just add a comment below and tell us your memorable wardrobe …  events.

Jennifer ‘ latest book is Restoring Her Faith.  Here’s a brief blurb on it.

She left belief behind…Yet this family could change her mind.

With two boys to raise, a fledgling contracting business to run and a family ranch to keep afloat, widower Drake Owens finds his hands aren’t just full they’re overflowing. When Faith Nichols is hired to help him renovate the church, he’s drawn to the beautiful artist, but he can’t fall for a woman who isn’t a believer. Can love restore her faith and his heart?

You can find Restorying Her Faith by clicking here HERE .

 

The Conclusion of “Double Faults and a Wart”

If you didn’t read the first part of this true-life story from my past, I recommend you read it now. To get the real magic of this story, you need to read the first post — first. It should be on this site. Just scroll down past this post and there it is.

Chapter Two.

Fast forward seven months.

My mother and I were doing some Christmas shopping one day before Christmas (of course).  Here, I do not mean “one day” as the day before Christmas, but “one day” as in “a single day.” We had bought an item at the Harris store in Oak Cliff.  While we waited for the sale to be processed, I let slip a complaint about the wart on my finger. Perhaps I had served a double-fault the day before, or some other wart-induced calamity. But I did complain about my wart.

The saleswoman reached over the counter and took my hand in hers.  She was as old as my mother, so I was not unduly alarmed. I wasn’t even duly alarmed. She turned my hand over in hers, looked at the wart, and began gently to rub it with one of her fingers.  I do not remember which of her fingers she used, nor whether she rubbed in a circular motion or a linear motion. But she rubbed my left index finger, or more accurately, she rubbed the wart on my finger.

This happened rather quickly and she rubbed for no more than a few seconds. And as she rubbed the wart, she said, “I believe it will go away.”

Outside, walking to the car, my mother and I joked about the incident. It was harmless enough.  She seemed like a nice lady, and was not offended by the double-fault-provoking growth.

Being well-read, I had heard of medicine men removing a wart by rubbing it with a seven-year-old rag,  hand-woven of flax and soaked in garlic oil, and afterward burying the rag in the ground during a three-quarter moon and at such a point that the morning shadow of a cedar tree would cover the burial spot.  I found no documentation to indicate that those results lasted any better than the scissor snipping did.

A week later, the wart was gone. Vanished. No special care required. No scissors. No queasy stomach. No wart.  No double-faults.

A year later, the wart was gone. Two years later, the wart was gone. Twenty years later, the wart was still gone.

The saleswoman could have been an out-of-work witch doctor making some money by working the Christmas rush. She may have been a skilled surgeon doing some pro-bono work, or perhaps testing a new procedure on unsuspecting strangers.  I could have been the subject of some undercover testing not approved by the AMA or the NIH or the CIA.

Of course, Harris would not reveal the identity of the sales clerk. Mysteriously, personnel records for part-time Christmas workers for that year were lost, destroyed by a freak fire which burned only a tiny section of their files. (This was, as you know, long before computers captured everything and never lost a file.) Thirteen private-eyes (seven PI’s, one with only one eye) could find no trace of the mystery woman.  And I could find no trace of the wart. So, after years, I abandoned the search.  For either one.

Today, the wart is still gone. The only thing on the pad of my left index finger is a tiny scar—the result of a pair of scissors.

And that’s the story of double faults and a wart.  I was just a couple of years out of college and it happened pretty much as I described it in these two posts. I hope you enjoyed this glimpse into my earlier life, and how shamans (though she did not enter a trance) or grandmothers (or perhaps even an alien) can outperform the medical industry at times.  Leave me a comment and let me know if you think this could be the centerpiece of my memoir.  And thanks for your patience.

James Callan, wart-free ex-tennis player