The Hogs Can Have Their Way

Here’s a little test on your knowledge of scientific formulas.  What is the ratio of an igloo’s circumference and its diameter?  Come on, make a guess. I’ll give the  Answer below.

But first, the hogs.

I was driving home from the hospital one night. Earlene had been admitted for some non-life-threatening procedure and when she was asleep for the night, I headed home. There is a sharp curve in our driveway and as I turned, I saw that something ahead wasn’t right. I wasn’t sure what it was, but it wasn’t the normal look. I switched the lights up to high beam.

To my complete amazement, there were probably forty wild hogs grazing along the side of the driveway.

I knew wild hogs were creating havoc across the United States. Estimates four years ago put the total at between two and six million. Half of those were in Texas. Sows begin breeding at six to eight months and can have two litters in a year, although one is normal. These litters range generally from four to eight, but with good conditions may go as high as a dozen. With no natural predator, their numbers keep escalating.

They are probably the most destructive of all wild animals. They eat almost everything, and can destroy an entire crop of any food with amazing speed. They will kill and eat small livestock, including lambs, kids, calves, and deer. For those and other reasons hunters are welcome to kill as many wild hogs in Texas as they can and at any time of the year.

I was shocked. I had never seen even one on our property before. Now, there was a large herd.

It was not the last time I saw them.

We have some acreage and we enjoy walking around through the trees, down into some draws and up again, around a small lake. Several weeks later, Earlene and I were roaming around and came upon a somewhat smaller herd, between fifteen and twenty. Even that many encouraged us to alter our path.

Another time, Earlene was out walking by herself and came upon a sow and quite a few piglets. The mother did not like a human getting near her babies. Her snorts and aggressive moves quickly convinced Earlene to turn around and head back for the house.

There is an active market for live wild hogs. But these swine are smart and trapping them is not easy. In addition, should you catch a good number, they may destroy your enclosure and escape. Transporting them to market is another problem.

Since we do not raise crops or have any livestock, generally they do not stay long. A day or two and they move on to better grazing. They go where they want.

Prepared properly, the meat from wild hogs is generally considered to be better tasting than farm-raised pork. But we have made a decision. We will just go to the grocery store and buy our pork chops and hope that the wild hogs move on.

Okay.  Now the answer to the question: What is the ratio of an igloo’s circumference and its diameter?

Answer:  Eskimo Pi.

If you want to complain about my humor, just leave me a comment.  And thanks for stopping by.

I would like to invite you to join my e-mail list.  First, I promise not to send you too many – maybe two or three a month.  And I will not give away or sell your e-mail to anyone.  That’s also a promise.  But, I will be giving away valuable or interesting or funny things from time to time.  Why would I do this?  For one thing, I want you to feel my e-mails are worth opening.  And giving something away always makes me feel good.

So, send me an e-mail with “Free Book” in the subject line, to:

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In the body, say, “I’m in. And I’d like a free (digital, or PDF) copy of a highly rated mystery book.”  That’s it.  I’ll then send you a great mystery.  And we’ll both have a better day.  Thanks.

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8 thoughts on “The Hogs Can Have Their Way

  1. Laughed out loud at your joke. Love it. Can’t wait to try it on my “mathematically-gifted” son. Have a big wild hog ham in the freezer right now. Compliments of a neighbor. Me? I’ve never seen one up close and personal, But I couldn’t kill one. Gosh, I chase bugs and spiders into a bag so I can release them outside.

    • Sorry I forgot to put one up this week. But, I have another I’ll get up next week. I’m so glad you liked it, and I hope your mathematically gifted some appreciated it. I haven’t killed a hog – but if they persist, I might – well, maybe.

    • Thanks, Vickie, for the nice comment. I’m glad my humor doesn’t bother you. Sorry about the church yard. God made the grass – and the hogs.

  2. we too have wild hogs in the deep part of our acreage. Still recall that one early morning venture with my husband toting his gun and I a flashlight. Shots missed but it did convince the herd to return to the place they came from instead of grazing by the side of our road.

  3. I don’t want to hog all your time, but I found the story a little choppy. I shall gird my loins, and try to make puns elsewhere.

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